Student+D'Arezzo,+Aaron

media type="file" key="maan.mp3" width="240" height="20"media type="file" key="Hamlet.mp3" width="240" height="20" ^ MAAN.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,^ Hamlet

Welcome to your wiki page! Hey guys here it is. My dog is whining in the background a little. Sorry about that. I hope you all enjoy!

Determine what the audio recording feature is on your own computer, and respond to this invitation to join the class wiki by writing down what the application or software is called that you will be using to create an audio file of your commentaries. If you do not have such capability on your personal or home computer, please see me to arrange to use a school computer for creating audio recordings of your commentaries.

You will upload these audio files to your personal wiki page, and then you will review the oral commentaries of peers and offer feedback via the discussion feature.

Instructions on uploading files are forthcoming.

-Did the speaker address context? Purpose? (//The speaker adressed the context of the passage. They clearly explained how the events mentioned fit into the life of E.B. White.)// -Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary? // (There did not appear to be an organized manner which the commentary was delivered. No such structure was mentioned.) // -What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR? (//As the accessor, I would ask the speaker quesitons such as "Did you take note of any literary devices which could potentially allude to the idea of White's "awkwardness" toward females changing in the future?" & "You mention the idea of White consistantly being awkward or not normal. Do you consider his childhood hobbies to be universally awkward? Do there not exist other youth who perform the same acts?"// -What did the speaker do well?  (//The speaker was exemplary when it came to explaining the passage in relation to E.B. White's persona. They were very specific and accturate about all the discussed topics. This is exampled in the situation in which White felt as if he were trapped in a "death grip" by his older sister. They also utilized quotations quite well. Most arguments were backed by some form of textual evidence.)// -What would you suggest for improvement? // (I would suggest structuring the commentary in a more organized and concise manner. I would also suggest the use of more literary devices. The use of more literary devices would naturally lead to a more powerful commentary. Repetition of the same idea or words should also be avoided at all costs.) // -What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.) // (For the most part, the speaker touched upon literary terms and themes. The speaker seems to put an emphisis on the fact that "awkwardness" was the main theme which was present in the given passage. Literary devices mentioned incude alliteration & metaphor.) // -What would you score them based on the IB Rubric? // (Based on the I.B. Rubric, I would bestow a 21/30 upon the speaker.) // // A. Knowledge and Understanding of Extract or Work(s): 5 // // B. Interpretation and Personal Response: 7 // // C. Presentation: 5 // // D. Use of Language: 4 // // -Graded and commented upon by Eric A. Valdez //

// Kiko's Review: //

// -Did the speaker address context? Purpose? // //Yes, I think you did a good job of describing the passage and what had been happening previously in the essay.// //-Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary?// //Yes, though this was not clearly stated before hand. It seems as though the passage was assessed by order of device, structure or theme, in a random order.// //-What did the speaker do well?// //You had a very clear voice and good vocabulary, I was glad to hear that you mentioned the way that White wrote seemingly from a little boy's point of view.// //-What would you suggest for improvement?// //I would recommend laying out the way that you are going to move through the commentary before hand. This makes the reader easier to follow. Also what does this passage lend to the essay, and pur understanding of White as a whole?// //-What did the speaker forget to address?// //One thing that may have also been addressed was tone.// //-What would you score them based on the IB rubric?//

Knowledge/ Understanding:(4/5) Interpretation/Personal Response: (8/10) Presentation: (8/10) Use of Language: (4/5)

//I'd give Aaron a 24/30.//

//Much Ado// Commentary review: -Did the speaker address context? Purpose? The speaker discusses subject of passage, gives some context to work as a whole and states the purpose of the passage.

-Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary? The was an organizational principle used; The theme, literary devices and how the passage fits into story as a whole.

-What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR? What do the literary devices contribute to the passage as a whole. You mentioned there is a metaphor, but what does the metaphor accomplish within the passage?

-What did the speaker do well? The speaker uses examples and citations from text. States the organizational principle. Discusses the overarching theme first then continues on to literary devices. Discusses literary devices: metaphor and foreshadowing.

-What would you suggest for improvement? The speaker should give line numbers for citations. It would be better to discuss the passage in the work as a whole in the beginning of the commentary. Give some background knowledge on Shakespeare. You never really gave a conclusion statement.

-What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.) Speaker did not address the tone of the passage.

//-What would you score them based on the IB rubric?//

Knowledge/Understanding: 4/5 Interpretation/Personal Response: 6/10 Presentation: 9/10 Language:5/5

Review by Lexi

Review by self of Hamlet Commentary:

-Did the speaker address context? Purpose?

The speaker sort of touched on the context. He was unclear and vague about meaning. He didn't discuss the purpose either.

-Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary?

Yes there was and this was followed for the most part. Minor digressions but for the most part the organization was tight.

-What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR?

How does the irony create depth within the story? What exactly does it do to advance the themes you previously mentioned?

-What did the speaker do well?

He had good themes, and backed them up with quotes and evidence.

-What would you suggest for improvement?

Be more specific, take out the superfluous words and phrases, and be more careful about not make generalizations or too interpretive points with no facts to back them up.

-What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.)

I didn't really address enough literary terms or the tone.

-What would you score them based on the IB Rubric?

 Total score: 17/30
 * 1) Knowledge/Understanding: 4/5
 * 2) Interpretation/Personal Response: 5/10
 * 3) Presentation: 5/10
 * 4) Language: 3/5