Student+Hartman,+Lexi

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Determine what the audio recording feature is on your own computer, and respond to this invitation to join the class wiki by writing down what the application or software is called that you will be using to create an audio file of your commentaries. If you do not have such capability on your personal or home computer, please see me to arrange to use a school computer for creating audio recordings of your commentaries.

You will upload these audio files to your personal wiki page, and then you will review the oral commentaries of peers and offer feedback via the discussion feature.

Instructions on uploading files are forthcoming.

Hi Mrs. Gianopoulos,

I am going to use Garage Band for the recording. Thanks, Lexi

Lexi, there is no recording on your page. So I am going to hold off as well. I will email Mrs. G too. -andie

You are required to address: -Did the speaker address context? Purpose? You did address the context and purpose of the essay. I liked the description at the beginning because it flowed nicely into he rest of the commentary which helped me, the listener, to see the contention between the context and what it's intention was. -Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary? You never mentioned a specific order which would have been nice, but I think the flow of the commentary negated that to some extent. Besides that the only thing which I think would have been nice would have been if you talked about White's "passion" before the literary devices. It would have flowed even better since the description at the beginning linked directly to that. -What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR? Do you feel that the commentary could have been more streamlined if you stated/changed the order in which you brought up and spoke about points. -What did the speaker do well? You had plenty of pertinent textual evidence which made the claims you made all the better. I liked how you talked about "moving on" being figurative and literal and I felt that the way you described tone made me see the tailed of the essay in a new light. Also I thought it was good that you had a so many examples about White's passion of sailing – they were all a bit different but came together to make a strong claim. -What would you suggest for improvement? Address the order or make a definite order if you didn't already have one. And maybe dig up and analyze one or two more literary devices. -What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.) I don't think you forgot one, but I think it could have been better if you mentioned one or two more literary devices, but that comes down to personal opinion at this point. -What would you score them based on the IB Rubric?
 * 1) Knowledge and Understanding: 5/5
 * 2) Interpretation and Personal Response: 10/10
 * 3) Presentation: 8/10 – Addressing order/having an order.
 * 4) Use of Language: 5/5

Total Score: 28/30

Additional Comments: I think you had some great thoughts that I seemed to miss in my commentary. Good job.

Peer Reviewer: Troy Squillaci

__ Andie's Review: __ -Did the speaker address context? Purpose? Y es, you talked about his past and how his past hobbies and stuck with him though out his life. You did not say straight forward what the purpose but you did say though out the the commentary that White is having difficulties giving up his life on the sea. -Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary? There was no indication of how you were going to address the passage and how you were going to march though it. -What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR? Where there any prominent literary devices that appeared though out the passage? -What did the speaker do well? You had a lot of helpful quotes thoughout the commentary. You went slowly, which is really good because you didn't confuse the listener and I feel like you stayed on topic. You broke down the format of the passage it self, which i really appreciated. I like the way you ended the commentary, you brought everything to an end nicely and you didnt leave any loose ends. -What would you suggest for improvement? Find some more literary devices to explain and tie those to the dilemma that White is facing. And let the listener know how you will dissect the passage. -What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.) Literary devices. -What would you score them based on the IB Rubric?

A-Knowledge and Understanding: 5/5 B-Interpretation and Personal Response: 10/10 C-Presentation-9/10- order of commentary, but I still followed where you were going. D-Use of Language- 5/5

Total: 29/30 Good Job Lexi, a lot of helpful information, and I enjoyed it!

Thank you for your pains commentarymedia type="file" key="Thank you for your pains commentary.mp3" width="240" height="20"

Cerebral Hamlet Commentary:

media type="file" key="Cerebral Hamlet.mp3" width="240" height="20"

Hamlet Commentary Review:

-Did the speaker address context? Purpose?

Speaker puts the passage in context placing it within the play and talking about the passage itself.

-Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary?

Speaker states organizational principle used. Thematically: tone, theme, literary devices.

-What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR?

How does the rhyming couplet emphasize the violence in the passage? What does the comparison of man to beast impart meaning to the passage as a whole? And does it reflect on the work as a whole?

-What did the speaker do well?

Speaker uses citations, including line numbers, to support points about tone, theme and the literary devices.

-What would you suggest for improvement?

Less repetition of thoughts (especially when talking about the comparison of man to beast) and less “umm’s.” More “so what” in some of the analysis of literary devices.

-What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.)

I did not see anything left out but some points could have been fleshed out more, such as in the analysis of the literary devices like the metaphor.

-What would you score them based on the IB Rubric?

Total score: 23/30
 * 1) Knowledge/Understanding: 3/5
 * 2) Interpretation/Personal Response: 7/10
 * 3) Presentation: 9/10
 * 4) Language: 4/5

Self-review

Aaron's Review:

-Did the speaker address context? Purpose?

The Speaker did a good job of setting the stage for the listener. She also discussed how this this passage fit into the passage and why it was needed. Touching on the purpose and on the way it is conveyed added meaning and showed that she understood the passage.

-Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary?

Yes there was and it was clearly stated up front in the passage. She followed it throughout the entire commentary as well veering off only slightly to get some points across.

-What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR?

Yes I would like to know more about the rhyming couplet. You stated that it emphasized violence because of the last two lines. How do the last two lines do this? What about the rhyme makes them emphasize violence?

-What did the speaker do well?

She was very organized and clearly stated and supported all of her points. She never left me asking why she brought something to the table. It all had meaning and further evidenced her main theme and points.

-What would you suggest for improvement?

There was quite a bit of repetition however. Once she made her points she reiterated too often. I got her point after she stated it 2 or 3 times. Once it hit the 5th or 6th it was unneeded repetition.

-What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.)

She addressed everything that was needed in the commentary. There was really only the need to omit the needless repetition and some words.

-What would you score them based on the IB Rubric?  1. Knowledge/Understanding: 4/5  2. Interpretation/Personal Response: 6/10  3. Presentation: 6/1  4. Language: 3/5 Total score: 19/30