Student+Brashar,+Connor

=**Connor's Wiki Page (20% Cooler)**=

Dear Mrs. G, I got your email, and for my recording program I'm going to use PCM Recorder, which is an android recording app for my phone. The result is below. (Essentially, it works well). Thanks! -Connor media type="file" key="2012-01-05_18-23-15.wav" width="300" height="50"

E.B White's "Afternoon of an American Boy" Commentary media type="file" key="2012-01-08_18-56-56.mp3" width="240" height="20" Kyra's review: -Did the speaker address context? Purpose? There was both context and purpose and he explained how and what they revealed about White. He also explained the author's purpose of why he wrote the things he did. -Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary? I do not recall Connor stating an organizational principle. -What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR? None -What did the speaker do well? Connor did a great job of summarizing the essay and what it was about. He gave great examples that supported what he was talking about at the time. He also did a great job talking about how White's word choice effected the tones of the passage. He also had a good conclusion. -What would you suggest for improvement? Talk about other literary devices. I feel like he mention juxtaposition quite a lot. Try not to include personal opinions. There was slight repetition about White being socially awkward. He could have stated a clearer theme. -What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.) He forgot to mention the location of the quotes. He also forgot to mention the structure of the passage. -What would you score them based on the IB Rubric?

Knowledge and understanding: 4 Interpretation and personal response: 7-8 Presentation: 7-8 Use of language: 5

Overall score: 21

-Did the speaker address context? Purpose? Yes, Connor had several quotes and gave an in depth summary of the passage. The summary of the essay as a whole was lacking, though. -Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary? He didn’t mention an organizational principle that he was going to follow but, if I remember correctly, he seemed to go from question to question from the list of questions that Mrs. G wrote on the board for us to use on these commentaries. Someone in our class would notice this, but I doubt and IB grader would. - What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR? Is juxtaposition the only literary device White uses in this passage? At around 3:45 you say “E.B. White can show his emotions in two different ways and in one passage because of these different ways.” What are these “ways”? -What did the speaker do well? Connor spoke clearly and slowly so he could actually be understood. All-in-all Connor did a very good presentation. -What would you suggest for improvement? You should number your lines if you didn’t. From the presentation it seems as though you didn’t because you forgot to address quote locations line-wise. I would suggest maybe finding a little bit more to talk about. It seemed monotonous because it always came back to juxtaposition and White’s social awkwardness. I would suggest you take out the very end where you state your personal opinion on the essay because it is unnecessary and, frankly, doesn’t matter. -What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.) <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">He didn’t mention the location of quotes. I’m not sure if this is because he didn’t number his lines, which I suggest, or he just forgot. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">He only mentioned one literary device. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">- <span style="color: #c0504d; font-family: 'arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">What would you score them based on the IB Rubric? <span style="color: #c0504d; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">Knowledge and understanding: <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">4 (good knowledge and description of passage although the description of the essay as a whole was weak.) <span style="color: #c0504d; font-family: 'arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">Interpretation and personal response: <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">7 (Good interpretation, well done except I feel like you could have addressed more literary devices.) <span style="color: #c0504d; font-family: 'arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">Presentation: <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">9 (very well done presentation, minimal errors) <span style="color: #c0504d; font-family: 'arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">Use of language: <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">3 (you had a couple speaking errors, for example, you said White’s girlfriend forced him into things rather than his sister. You also used the word “umph” several times and this caused the biggest hit to this portion.)
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">FINAL SCORE: 23 **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">Justin Dearing **

William Shakespeare's "Hamlet" Commentary (1st Shakespeare Commentary) media type="file" key="2012-01-27_15-00-16.mp3" width="240" height="20"

William Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing" Commentary (2nd Shakespeare Commentary) media type="file" key="2012-02-02_18-24-34.mp3" width="240" height="20" -Did the speaker address context? Purpose? I did address the context of the play, though I didn't explain the entire story, because it was a complicated story. I instead just talked about the story as it related to the passage at hand, which I did explain. I explained the purpose, as well as some intent of Shakespeare's, for the passage. -Was there an organizational principle utilized for their commentary? I did explain that I would address first theme, then literary devices (going chronologically), and finally the tone of the passage. -What questions would you ask this person for clarification, IF YOU WERE THE ACCESSOR? How were you able to infer that the reason Beatrice's friends were talking about marriage was in order to make her want to fall in love with Benedick? -What did the speaker do well? I showed how important many different devices were in conveying a lot of meaning, from hyperbole to themes, etc. In addition I was able to take things beyond their first meaning, such as the wedding idea. -What would you suggest for improvement? I repeated things somewhat often, and said "umm" pretty often. I should also watch using street language, such as "Oh my god". Another thing is I could push the -What did the speaker forget to address? (lit terms, themes, etc.) The idea of treachery should have gone further involved into what that meant. -What would you score them based on the IB Rubric? Knowledge and Understanding- 4, probably, or maybe 5 (Very close, but I think it would show better if I had more properly summarized the whole play, so maybe a 4) Interpretation and Personal Response- 9 (Again, quite good, I took it further than it already was, really explained how meaning was presented, etc.. The one thing was that I should have explained further where the marriage idea came from) Presentation- 10 (Used the book well when I did, was able to cite when necessary, and I pulled a lot out of it) Language- 4 (Picked up steam later, did use some umms and repeated a few times, but no long pauses, language used was appropriate and at times very studious) TOTAL: 27/30

-Connor Brashar